Bill has more flashbacks, Sookie searches for a magical answer to save him and Eric gets one step closer to scratching the itch he has named Sarah Newlin….
By Damon Martin — Editor/Lead Writer
The rollercoaster ride of the final season of ‘True Blood’ continued this week with the episode titled ‘May Be the Last Time’ but truth be told this may be the last chance I give this series after another completely forgettable effort outside of a couple solid scenes in an otherwise abysmal hour leading to the final three weeks of the show. You’d think with just 10 hours/episodes to wrap up all of the storylines and characters, the writers behind ‘True Blood’ would have much more to say and when interviews start leaking out in the weeks following the series finale we’d hear phrases like ‘I wish we had a few more weeks’ or ‘we only had so much time’. Instead judging by Sunday night’s episode, the final season of ‘True Blood’ could have easily been pared down to nine weeks considering how poor the effort was in this new episode.
Filler weeks on television happen all the time, but in the course of a final season you’d think that the end game would be bearing down on the creators and give them a sense of urgency to get things where they are going. Instead, Sunday night’s episode was a veritable swirl around the drain as I just waited for the final drop to go down. The hope is when a final season gets underway, each episode leaves you wanting more and more (ala ‘Breaking Bad’) but ‘True Blood’ has given me more of a sense of ‘can we just get on with this already?’. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I feel like with only three more episodes to get to, ‘True Blood’ really is ready for a stake to the heart.
Regardless, let’s get into the recap for the few things that did happen this week.
I’m Coming Home
Hoyt returns home this week to bury his mother and he comes back with a smoking hot girlfriend named Bridget in tow. When he arrives at Merlotte’s he can’t help but notice the name has changed to Bellefleur’s and Arlene is now the owner/operator. Hoyt’s in town to retrieve his mother’s body and he has to deal with some deputy named Stackhouse. Lest we forget that Hoyt had his memory wiped a season ago to forget the betrayal Jason bestowed upon him when he started banging Jessica in his spare time. Arlene calls Jason and tells him how squirrely Hoyt is behaving, and knowing that his grand plan could be blown, he hightails it down the restaurant to meet up with his former best friend.
Inside, Jason does his best to console Hoyt while doing nothing but making creepy stalker eyes at his girlfriend. Apparently, Jason believes that he’s destined to screw anyone that Hoyt is in a relationship with and he can’t keep his ‘to catch a predator’ looks to a minimum. He eventually joins them for breakfast while constantly staring at Bridget’s cleavage before escorting them both to the morgue where Hoyt finally sees his mother for a final time.
Hoyt breaks down after identifying the body and proclaims that he’d give anything just to hear her squawking one more time. He asks Jason who did this to her, and his former best buddy lies and says that she was one of the good people who stood up to Vince and his band of vigilantes and she paid with her loyalty with her life. It was a nice way for Jason to give Hoyt a good memory of his usually crass and outspoken mother, and while breaking down in tears he embraces Jason while Bridget gives them all a big hug.
Hoyt’s return and what I have to presume is probably a goodbye was a nice touch in the final episodes, but the entire story with Jason’s hormones raging to the point where he couldn’t even be around a woman was a touch much. I get the fact that Jason seems to have enough testosterone for an entire Viagra factory, but that doesn’t mean he has zero self control. We are led to believe, however, that the slightest glance at a pretty girl means he either wants to bang her or she inevitable will want to bang him. I guess the point was Jason still feeling guilty about Jessica and what he did to Hoyt while worrying that he would do it all over again. Hard on or not, choices are made because we want to make them and Jason is the one that decided to sleep with Jessica on multiple occasions and if he can’t control his basic instincts then well that’s a whole other problem that can’t be solved in the next three weeks.
House of Pain
Violet shows her new guests Wade and Adilyn to her luxurious house before welcoming them to their new room — complete with sex swings, nipple clamps, strap-ons and all other kinds of sexual paraphernalia. She gives Adilyn a big goodnight kiss before sauntering off to her own slumber while leaving the two teenagers to live on their greatest impulses with no adult supervision.
Meanwhile, Andy and Holly are on the search for the missing teens and the get nowhere fast. They even search Holly’s ex-husband’s lake house, but turn up nothing. Andy does, however, find a heart as he breaks down in tears wondering if he can take much more of this constant pain and suffering he’s been dealing with in the last few months. Between his watered eyes and quivering lips, Andy does come up with the idea to call Jessica to see if she’s ‘felt’ Adilyn being in danger since the teen-fairy had some of her blood. Jessica hasn’t felt a tingle as of yet, which gives Andy and Holly some peace but it’s short lived.
Following a night of just normal sex when Wade and Adilyn realize they don’t like sex toys — at all — Violet shows up and decides to show them how to have a really good time. She chucks Wade across the room and dives on Adilyn for who knows what will happen next. Jessica immediately jumps up and runs to save her but little does she know that a trap is set and an ancient pissed off vampire awaits her arrival.
My hope is that Violet was biting Adilyn to get a taste of her fairy blood and not something much more nefarious considering the amount of sex toys laying around her lair. She did handcuff the young girl before attacking so all bets are off for what actually happened. The biggest issue with this scenario is why lock up the teens to give them a night together instead of just locking them up and setting the trap for Jessica right away? Again, this seemed like time filler and an unnecessary part of the show. Violet is bat-shit crazy and obsessed — I get that part — but a woman scorned looking for revenge doesn’t strike me as the kind to waste much time while setting her plot in motion. Maybe this was the only way horny-Jason could be given leeway to skulk over Hoyt’s girlfriend before needing to go on the inevitable run to save Jessica next week.
Sookie Is Mine
Bill’s disease continues to progress at a rapid rate and even tiny Doctor Ludwig (remember the vampire doctor that’s popped up a couple of times in the past?) can’t do much for him. She hightails it out of there when she finds out that Sookie comes from the fairy line containing Niall Brigant.
Sookie decides to call on her fairy great, great, great grandfather for help to try and cure Bill and sure enough there is Rutger Hauer in all his grey haired glory to save the day. Except he’s not there to do anything outside of slurping down some spaghetti and basically telling Sookie that there’s no magical cure to a medical problem. Glad to see the makers of ‘True Blood’ decided to pay to have Rutger Hauer back for no apparent reason.
Also, Bill’s entire episode is spent in flashbacks where we learn that his marriage to Caroline was an arrangement set up between their two families after his father is diagnosed with a deadly ailment that will take him from this world pretty soon. Bill is meant to marry Caroline to give their family twice the amount of land while providing for his mother once his father is gone. I keep reiterating that these flashbacks have to be leading to something greater but as of now I certainly can’t tell you what that might be.
Finally, Bill and Sookie get back together with a little naked time on the floor and the show has officially come full circle from the first season. We all knew it was coming, but why did it have to happen in possibly the worst episode for these two characters in seven seasons?
The Search for a Cure
Eric, Pam and Mr. Gus Jr. confront Sarah’s sister Amber after she’s been cured of the Hep-V virus just days after they all knew her to be quite infected. Not much came of the interrogation outside of Amber defending her sister and calling her Numi now. In the end, Eric decided to stake her because why the hell not?
Mr. Gus decides to offer Eric a new deal — since Sarah has the antidote to Hep-V flowing through her body, instead of killing her they will capture, steal her blood, synthesize it and sell it on the market as ‘Nu-Blood’ — the cure to Hepatitis-V. Mr. Gus and Yakanomo Corporation will retain the rights to 51-percent of the company while Eric will become a 49-percent stakeholder. What does Eric need to do to earn that part of the company outside of not tearing Sarah Newlin limb from limb when they find her?
He has to become the new spokesperson for ‘Nu-Blood’ to ensure that other vampires not only buy it, but they are well aware of its healing properties. Eric agrees and they are off to find Sarah with all the resources of the Yakanomo Corporation at their disposal, including satellites, facial recognition software, and the media.
As for Sarah/Numi, she decides to hide out at the ‘Land of the Rising Sun’ or whatever the camp was she started with Steve back when Jason was in full on God mode in season two. It’s there that Sarah starts having visions of all her past lovers including Jason, Steve, the Buddhist she was banging, and even a headless Governor Burrell (because I’m assuming they couldn’t get Arliss Howard to return for even one more episode of this shit). They all tell Sarah her impending doom is coming and with the Fast and the Furious cars speeding up outside to deliver the Yakanomo’s and Eric Northman, it seems they were all right on the money.
In Other News
Sam has a heart-to-heart with Arlene asking if he’s crazy for staying in Bon Temps or if he should go after Nicole and their baby even if it means leaving his favorite town in the world.
Arlene has sex dreams about Keith and eventually ends up dancing with the vampire at the bar after closing. If there’s a point to this story, please share it with me.
Lafayette and Lettie May start digging around the yard of her old house looking for whatever it is they saw in the vision with Tara. Neither character appeared for the entire episode, but then randomly popped up with shovels towards the end. Random appearance at best.
And that’s ‘True Blood’ for the week. A very weak effort if you ask me in what is amounting to be just another season of the series with only three episodes to go. Judging by the week on/week off way this series has been going, the next episode should prove to be a worthwhile effort after Violet kidnaps Jessica and Eric finally tracks down Sarah Newlin.
What did you think True Blood fans? Was this as much of a throw away episode as I thought it was or did I miss something all together?